Wedding Etiquette Tips Every Couple Should Know:
from an Ottawa Wedding Photographer
Planning a wedding can be a whirlwind of decisions, from picking the perfect venue to choosing the right dress. But amidst all the excitement, it's easy to overlook some important details that can ensure a smooth and stress-free day. As your Ottawa wedding photographer, I’ve seen how small etiquette choices can make a huge difference on your big day.
I’m sharing essential wedding etiquette tips to help you navigate everything from feeding your vendors first to deciding how to handle gratuities. I’ll also cover the best order for hiring wedding vendors, and why, in the end, it’s your wedding—don’t let anyone boss you around!
1. Feeding Your Wedding Vendors: A Must for Smooth Operations
If there's one thing that’s often overlooked during wedding planning, it's feeding your vendors. But trust me—it's essential! Your wedding vendors, including photographers, videographers, planners, DJs, and more, work tirelessly to ensure your day goes smoothly. They often arrive early and stay late, so providing them with a meal is not only a kind gesture, it's also necessary for maintaining their energy and focus.
Why should you feed your vendors first?
When you feed your vendors first, you ensure that they have time to eat before the guests sit down to their meal. This is particularly important for photographers and videographers, who need to be ready for the best moments during your reception. It’s all about timing—when the vendors eat first, they won’t be rushing to finish their meals right before the big moments happen. Plus, it keeps them happy and energized so they can capture every magical moment!
Vendor Meal Options in Ottawa
Many catering services in Ottawa offer “vendor meals,” which are typically less expensive than guest meals but still provide the sustenance your team needs. Be sure to discuss these options with your caterer ahead of time to accommodate any dietary restrictions.
2. Tipping Your Wedding Vendors: How Much & When?
Tipping your wedding vendors is a thoughtful way to show appreciation for the hard work they put into making your wedding day perfect. While tips are never mandatory, they are always appreciated, especially when vendors go above and beyond.
In fact, in recent years, it’s become more common for many wedding vendors, especially catering services and venues, to exclude tips in the contract or package pricing. Instead, gratuities are often left to the couple’s discretion. This means you have more flexibility to decide how much to tip based on your experience and the level of service received.
If you're wondering what the standard tipping amounts are, here’s a breakdown to help you plan. These are general guidelines based on common industry practices. However, feel free to adjust based on your budget and satisfaction with each vendor’s service.
How much should you tip each vendor?
Here are some general guidelines to help you plan your tips for wedding vendors in Ottawa::
Photographer and Videographer: While tipping is never expected, a tip of $50-$200 per photographer or videographer is appreciated.
Wedding Planner: If you had a wedding planner, a tip of 10-15% of their total fee is customary.
Catering Staff and Servers: If gratuity isn’t already included in the catering contract, tipping 15-20% of the food and beverage cost is standard.
DJ or Band: Tipping between $50-$150 for DJs and live musicians is a nice gesture.
Hair and Makeup Artists: A tip of 15-20% of their service fee is appreciated.
When should you give the tip?
It’s common to give tips at the end of the event, once services have been rendered. If you’ve hired a wedding planner, they can help distribute the tips to the vendors on your behalf. Always make sure to have the tips ready ahead of time in cash or with envelopes to make this process smooth.
3. How to Hire Your Wedding Vendors: What Order to Hire In
When it comes to booking your wedding vendors, the timeline can get a little overwhelming, but there’s a logical order to follow that helps prevent stress. The earlier you book, the better chance you have of securing your preferred vendors, especially those in high demand.
Here’s a step-by-step guide on the ideal order of hiring your wedding vendors:
Wedding Planner or Coordinator: If you're hiring a wedding planner, this should be your first step. They’ll guide you through the entire process, help you choose other vendors, and even manage the timeline, ensuring everything runs smoothly.
Venue: Once you have a wedding planner (if you're using one), the next step is to secure your venue. Your venue will dictate a lot about your wedding, from the theme to the guest list size, so it’s a key decision. Many venues also have a list of recommended vendors.
Officiant: If you're planning a religious or non-religious ceremony, you’ll want to book your officiant early. Whether it’s a religious leader, a judge, or a friend who is getting ordained for the day, this is a key part of your ceremony planning. Officiants can get booked up, especially during peak wedding seasons, so lock them in well ahead of time.
Photographer and Videographer: These vendors often get booked far in advance, especially those with a solid reputation. It’s a good idea to secure your photographer and videographer around 9-12 months before your wedding.
Caterer: Depending on your venue, you may need to hire an external caterer or one that’s provided in your venue package. Either way, your catering service should be booked early, particularly if you have a specific menu or dietary needs.
DJ or Band: Music is essential to setting the vibe of your celebration, so hire your DJ or live band early—usually around 9 months before the big day.
Florist: Floral arrangements and décor are often something that can be booked closer to the wedding date, but securing a florist 6-8 months out ensures you're able to get the flowers and designs that match your vision.
Dress & Suit Shopping: Now that your venue, photographer, and key vendors are booked, it’s time to start dress and suit shopping. It's recommended that brides start looking for their wedding dress about 9-12 months in advance. This gives plenty of time for fittings and alterations. Grooms can generally shop for suits 6-8 months ahead of time, but keep in mind that custom suits or tuxedos may take longer to order.
Hair and Makeup Artists: Book your hair and makeup team around 6-8 months before the wedding, ensuring that they have availability and that you have time to schedule trials if needed.
4. It's Your Wedding: Don’t Let Anyone Boss You Around
As much as we all want to make our families and friends happy, at the end of the day, this is your wedding. Don’t let anyone make you feel pressured into doing things that don't feel right for you. Whether it's the type of food, the music, or even the guest list, your vision should take precedence.
If someone is pushing for a certain decision, remember this: You have hired professionals to help you make your vision a reality. Trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid to stand up for what you want. After all, it's your big day—make it count!